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Dogs vs. Women
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs don't criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've ever had.
Dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives.
You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late- the later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
Anyone can get a good looking dog.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
A dog's parents never visit.top-10s[169]
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Top 10 things men know about women
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A Guy's Life
1) Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) You know stuff about tanks.
3) A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4) You can open all your own jars.
5) Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6) You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7) You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8) You can leave the motel bed unmade.
9) You can kill your own food.
10) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
11) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
13) Your underwear is 10$ for a three-pack.
14) If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
15) Everything on your face stays its original color.
16) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
17) Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
18) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
19) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
20) You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
21) Same work... more pay.
22) Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
23) Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental – 75 bucks.
24) You don't mooch off other's desserts.
25) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
26) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
27) You pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"
28) You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
29) You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
30) You almost never have strap problems in public.
31) You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
32) The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33) You don't have to shave below your neck.
34) At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
35) Your belly usually hides your big hips.
36) One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
37) You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
38) You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
39) Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.top-10s[165]
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Dog vs. Man
Dogs don't have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you are gone.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs understand what "NO" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
When dogs play "fetch", they don't laugh at how you throw.
Dogs are color blind.
Dogs understand if some of their friends aren't allowed to come inside.top-10s[164]
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Sign Language
1) Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies
2) If you do not want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil's orchard
3) May is God's apology for February
4) To belittle is to be little
5) A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
6) No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace.
7) People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
8) God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
9) When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.
10) Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily.top-10s[135]
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Random Jokes
