• 
  Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
  
  "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
  
  "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
  
  The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

  jokes[163]

• 
  A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu.
  
  The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?"
  
  The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this is that Mom has."

  jokes[162]

• 
  Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.
  
  "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
  
  "Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."

  jokes[160]

• 
  So far today, God, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I'm really glad about that.
  
  But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
  
  Thank you.
  
  In Jesus name. Amen

  jokes[159]

• 
  A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers, "Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep."
  
  Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!"
  
  "There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf."
  
  "No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."

  jokes[158]

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