• Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One of them said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with them flying bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to scare them off.

    Another pastor said "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away!"

    The third pastor said, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church, and they haven't seen one back since!"

    jokes[218]

  • A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

    "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

    jokes[217]

  • Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

    jokes[216]

  • One Sunday some children were asked for other names of God.

    One said “Jesus” another said “Heavenly Father”.

    All was well until a little boy stood up in the back row and said “Harold”.

    “Harold?” the Sunday school teacher inquired.

    “Yes, you know. Our Father who art in Heaven Harold be thy name”.

    jokes[212]

  • A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a Christian"?

    The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin.

    God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then! He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

    jokes[211]

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