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Supposedly a true story...
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson@AOL.com). Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.Joan Johnson (JJohnson@AOL.com) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."jokes[37]
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This millionaire wanted take some of his money to heaven with him when he died, so he talked to God about it beforehand. He told God that he had lived a good life and all he wanted was to bring a little of his fortune with him. God finally agreed, but told the millionaire he must limit the amount to whatever he could fit into one suitcase.
The millionaire decided to make the most of it by comparing American dollars, French Francs, Japenese Yen, and every kind of currency available in the world to see to it that he fit the most possible into the suitcase. Finally, he decided the best he could do was to exchange his money for gold and place that in the suitcase.
When he died and arrived at Heaven's gate, St. Peter asked him what was in the suitcase. He told St. Peter that down on earth he had been a millionaire and that God had given him permisson to bring some of his fortune with him, as long as he could fit it into one suitcase.
St. Peter told the millionaire this was most unusual and he would have to take a look inside the suitcase before he could determine whether the millionaire could enter the gate with it. The millionaire opened the suitcase and St. Peter said, "Oh, yes. That's just pavement, please come in!"jokes[33]
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In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"jokes[32]
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A little mouse died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited to come in, but the mouse told him he wanted to look around first. St Peter said that was okay with him. After looking around the mouse approached St. Peter and told him he would like to stay but it is too big there and he would get tired running around all day. St. Peter thought for awhile and said he had just the thing for him, a pair of roller skates so the mouse decided to stay. Soon a cat died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited him in also, the cat wanted to look around too. After spotting the mouse on roller skates the cat said, "Boy oh boy, you have meals on wheels I will stay."jokes[30]
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Adam & Eve had the perfect marriage.
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about how well his mother cooked!jokes[29]
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