• There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."

    Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."

    Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?"

    jokes[122]

  • A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

    "Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

    "Yes, that was it!"

    "You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!"

    "Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."

    jokes[121]

  • One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks,

    "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied,

    "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said,

    "So, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

    jokes[85]

  • A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

    jokes[83]

  • After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation.

    They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket, friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

    The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man."

    The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

    The last guy thinks a minute and replies, "I'd like to hear them say...... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

    jokes[78]

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