• Over at Fortitude Holiness Tabernacle, Dexter Rice, the Sunday School teacher, was telling his class the story of the Prodigal Son. Wishing to emphasize the resentful attitude of the elder brother, he laid stress on this part of the parable.

    After describing the rejoicing of the household over the return of the wayward son, Dexter spoke of one who, in the midst of the festivities, failed to share in the jubilant spirit of the occasion. "Can anybody in the class," he asked, "tell me who this was?"

    Nine year old Olivia Crombie had been listening sympathetically to the story. She waved her hand in the air. "I know!" she said beamingly. "It was the fatted calf."

    jokes[150]

  • A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

    As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!"

    jokes[149]

  • A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"

    "NO!" the children all answered.

    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

    Again, the answer was "NO!"

    "Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

    In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

    jokes[148]

  • A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

    The civil engineer interrupted and said, 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world.'

    The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?'

    jokes[126]

  • Melinda asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Mitchell's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.

    "The flight to Egypt," said Mitchell.

    "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Melinda said, "but who's the fourth person?"

    "Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.

    jokes[123]

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