• The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.

    And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.

    "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

    A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. "To make the gravy."

    long-jokes[234]

  • A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.

    "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

    "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

    A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

    jokes[233]

  • A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church", the minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."

    jokes[232]

  • The Bible in 50 words...

    God made
    Adam bit
    Noah arked
    Abraham split
    Joseph ruled
    Jacob fooled
    Bush talked
    Moses balked
    Pharaoh plagued
    People walked
    Sea divided
    Tablets guided
    Promise landed
    Saul freaked
    David peeked
    Prophets warned
    Jesus born
    God walked
    Love talked
    Anger crucified
    Hope died
    Love rose
    Spirit flamed
    Word spread
    God remained.

    long-jokes[231]

  • A sunday school teacher was teaching kids about doing good things always and never to do things one will be ashamed of.

    To make her point she told the kids never to do anything in private that they would not want anyone to see them do in public.

    "Yippee!" cried little Johnny from the back of the class, "No more bathing!"

    jokes[230]

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