• So far today, God, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I'm really glad about that.

    But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

    Thank you.

    In Jesus name. Amen

    jokes[159]

  • A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers, "Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep."

    Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!"

    "There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf."

    "No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."

    jokes[158]

  • A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts." Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

    Later that day when the Evangelist and her husband were over for dinner. The Evangelist began to feel bad. Holding her head she said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

    The little girl looked up at her giving her the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said,

    "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

    jokes[157]

  • A father wanted to read the paper, but was being bothered by his little daughter, Susie. Finally, he took a sheet out of his magazine, on which was printed the map of the world. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Susie, and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together."

    After a few minutes, Susie returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together. The father was very surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly.

    "Oh", she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world came out all right."

    jokes[156]

  • A four-year-old boy was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"

    "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidise, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

    There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?"

    family-jokes[155]

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