• There was a girl named Tanya, and she was new in school. On the first day, in math class Mr. Tom introduced himself to his students, and asked the question, "If there is anyone who believes in God, please stand up."

    Tanya was the only one to stand up. Mr. Tom then asked, "Can you see, hear, taste, smell, or feel your God?" Tanya replied, "No" “Then you may sit down,” Mr. Tom said coldly, ” For your God does not exist.”

    Tanya said, “May I ask you a question, Mr. Tom?” “Yes.” He replied “Can you see, hear, taste, smell, or feel your brain?” “No” he said. “Then you may sit down, for your brain does not exist.”

    And the class cheered.

    long-jokes[224]

  • A minister was talking to a children's Sunday School class about kindness to animals. He cited the Biblical references to substantiate his case.

    "Now let's suppose," he said, "that you saw a bad person cutting off the tail of a cat. What Biblical quotation would you use to tell him of the terrible wrong he was doing?"

    "I would point out to him," one of the class said, "what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."

    jokes[223]

  • A little boy was asked to name the first man. He promptly answered, "Adam."

    Then, he was asked to name the first woman. He pondered long and hard and finally suggested, "Madam?"

    jokes[222]

  • A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and then turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR... step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

    jokes[221]

  • This small church was having money difficulties and the pastor was going to have to bring it before the church the next Sunday morning.

    That Sunday morning came and it was time for the morning service. The pastor was informed that the regular organist was sick and a subsitute was going to have to play.

    The substitute organist asked about the order of the service and the pastor gave her the hymns to play. He then informed her that at the end of the service he would have to explain to the congeration that the repairs had cost more than expected and there was not enough money to pay for them.

    When the end of the service drew near, he relayed the situtation to the church body and asked that any one wishing to donate a hundred dollars or more to please stand and be recognized. At that, the organist began playing the most beautiful rendition of the Star Spangle Banner that anyone had ever heard.

    This is how she became the regular organist.

    long-jokes[220]

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